Roxanne embraces her sister with a shy smile, and lets her head rest on her shoulder while Juliana brushes her hair with her fingers. Releasing her sister from her arms, Juliana sits down and pats the couch, next to her, with a hollow smile.
JULIANA: Aren’t you tired, Rox? It must have been such a long day for you. When Mum called I almost did not answer… I was so frightened.
Roxanne smiles soothingly.
ROXANNE: I told you many times that everything would go smoothly. In fact, there was nothing to be anxious about. I defended myself, and explained how I did the only thing I could… They knew it, and came to the only possible verdict. Self-defence…
She runs her fingers against a bleaching scar at the base of her neck and gives a strange little laugh. Juliana, startled, shudders violently.
JULIANA (whispers): Nothing to be anxious about... Yes, you must be right. I guess I am too emotional.
Roxanne goes to the sofa and puts her arms around Juliana.
ROXANNE: Oh dear, dear, Juliana. Please look at me. It’s ok now, everything is over. Please! Don’t let yourself get distressed. I am ok! Look at me. I won’t go to jail and with the doctor’s help, I’ve begun to forget about that night… Those nightmares… are less and less powerful…
A small noise resembling a sob escapes Juliana’s throat.
JULIANA: Roxanne, I am so sorry, you are the one who had to undergo the whole thing and I am the one locking myself in my room to cry… I wish I were a better sister, or that you could forgive me… (She hides her face in her hands and starts sobbing silently.) But, Rox, if you knew… (sobs) If you knew how much I dreaded that they would not believe you… (sobs) If ever they found out…
ROXANNE (her eyes fixed on the wall behind Juliana, there is no emotion in her voice): Found out?
JULIANA: Oh, Rox, I can’t… I can’t… Please don’t ask me. I’ve wanted to die so much. (more sobs) And I feel so ashamed… I know I should not say this to you… I mean… I know you loved him although he tried to kill you… but I am so happy you killed him!
ROXANNE: (staring through the window with narrowed eyes): You must mean you are happy I did not let him slaughter me…
JULIANA: No.
They keep silent for a few minutes, Juliana still sobbing, Roxanne lost in her contemplation of the street through the window. Suddenly Roxanne turns her attention back to her sister and smiles reassuringly.
ROXANNE: By the way, I did not love him, so you should not concern yourself with what happened or what unkind feelings you may have about him. When he turned violent, I simply valued my life more than his…
Juliana stops sobbing at these words.
JULIANA: You did not love him? Do you mean it?
ROXANNE: I do. Never loved him.
JULIANA (cold and troubled): Then why did you go out with him for so long? (She jumps to her feet) I.. I asked you to stop seeing him from the beginning ! I.. knew he was dangerous ! I…
She starts crying again. Roxanne stands to cradle her.
ROXANNE: Hush Ju, just forget about him, about the whole… You could have known nothing… Hush.
JULIANA (now on the verge of hysterics, Juliana disengages herself from Roxanne’s embrace): But, yes! I knew, Roxanne, I knew him well enough to wish him dead every day of my damned life, ever since…! (Roxanne stays silent, her gaze fixed upon her sister’s face.) He raped me, Roxanne! I could not tell you… I could not tell anyone... (she breathes heavily.) But I am glad you killed him, I wish I could have seen his face when he… (she starts crying again.)
ROXANNE (whispers through clenched teeth, strangely calm): Yes, I enjoyed it. He only got what he deserved, the bastard… Our only consolation is that he died in pain…(to her sister:)Now come, Juliana, he won’t hurt you anymore! I saw to that…
JULIANA (stares up): You saw to that? Rox! What can you mean by that? What the… You knew? All along !? Oh my…
She stumbles and falls on the couch, her hands fly to her face in stricken horror.
ROXANNE: Hush, Ju, don’t think about it…
JULIANA: But how…
ROXANNE: I saw him leave our house that day, and heard you crying later that night. In your dreams you even spoke about it once or twice. Happily, our parents sleep at the other end of the house. Now…
JULIANA: But if you knew… Oh my…Don’t tell me you did it on purpose! How could you go out with him when…
ROXANNE (a smile flutters for a few seconds on her face): Ju, I won’t tell you anything you don’t wish to hear. And honestly there is nothing to tell. Just what I told the police, he tried to kill me, stabbed me once but then I reached for a knife and struck first… He would have killed me otherwise.
JULIANA (fascinated): Did he beg for mercy?
ROXANNE: There was no time for that. Only one strike, but that was enough to put him down.
JULIANA: Didn’t he say anything before he died?
ROXANNE: Oh, he felt quite betrayed, I suppose. He tried to mumble something… I can’t remember. But at the end, his look was so distressed that I almost took pity on him. Not that it would have changed anything, though…
JULIANA: Did he bleed hard?
ROXANNE (with a weird smile): Yeah, lovely red on the white carpet, but the smell was quite nauseating.
JULIANA: Rox, you’re frightening.
ROXANNE: Just kidding. You’re the one asking sordid questions… (Then after a few moments’ reflection she goes on:) I only had a short while to see the light fade in his eyes, and then I collapsed. I had lost a lot of blood, too. But yeah, I saw it. The fear in his eyes…
JULIANA: I wish you’d strangled him.
ROXANNE (laughs): It would have been quite difficult to choke him to death and plead self-defence.
JULIANA: But how did you…
ROXANNE: I told him I knew about what he had done to you, and that I would tell the police. It was quite easy to pick a fight with him, to provoke him. Then I grabbed one of the knives and told him not to come near me. That was enough to put the seed in his mind, so he took the other knife, and I let him stab me. But then I got to his throat. He was a bit drunk. I’d waited for the right moment, you see. And I’ve always been strong. He never thought I would struggle.
JULIANA: Rox, you should never have…
ROXANNE (suddenly wrathful): Shouldn’t have? After what he’d done to you! How can you be so unfeeling as to tell me something like that? Ju, what would you have me do? (Tears run down her cheeks. Juliana cradles her gently). This was the only way… The only way to relieve you… I didn’t want to keep looking into your hollow eyes. I wanted you back, feeling better, feeling something at least! I knew that this could make you feel something, if nothing else could.
JULIANA: No, I’m sorry, Roxanne. I meant, it was not worth taking so many risks! You could have died, you could have gone to jail for the rest of your life… I didn’t want to hurt you Roxanne… You’re my little sister. I should take better care of you…
ROXANNE (stops crying): Then you are not angry with me? I did what I could to make things better. And I did it well: nobody will ever suspect anything now, because I’m the only one who knows what happened… We are both freed from all this. Nobody will ever know the truth.
JULIANA (smiles): No, they won’t, for I shall never breathe a word of this to anyone. Never…
The sisters fall into each others arms, Juliana with a sigh of relief, Roxanne with a giggle recalling that of a small child.
Roxanne smiles soothingly.
ROXANNE: I told you many times that everything would go smoothly. In fact, there was nothing to be anxious about. I defended myself, and explained how I did the only thing I could… They knew it, and came to the only possible verdict. Self-defence…
She runs her fingers against a bleaching scar at the base of her neck and gives a strange little laugh. Juliana, startled, shudders violently.
JULIANA (whispers): Nothing to be anxious about... Yes, you must be right. I guess I am too emotional.
Roxanne goes to the sofa and puts her arms around Juliana.
ROXANNE: Oh dear, dear, Juliana. Please look at me. It’s ok now, everything is over. Please! Don’t let yourself get distressed. I am ok! Look at me. I won’t go to jail and with the doctor’s help, I’ve begun to forget about that night… Those nightmares… are less and less powerful…
A small noise resembling a sob escapes Juliana’s throat.
JULIANA: Roxanne, I am so sorry, you are the one who had to undergo the whole thing and I am the one locking myself in my room to cry… I wish I were a better sister, or that you could forgive me… (She hides her face in her hands and starts sobbing silently.) But, Rox, if you knew… (sobs) If you knew how much I dreaded that they would not believe you… (sobs) If ever they found out…
ROXANNE (her eyes fixed on the wall behind Juliana, there is no emotion in her voice): Found out?
JULIANA: Oh, Rox, I can’t… I can’t… Please don’t ask me. I’ve wanted to die so much. (more sobs) And I feel so ashamed… I know I should not say this to you… I mean… I know you loved him although he tried to kill you… but I am so happy you killed him!
ROXANNE: (staring through the window with narrowed eyes): You must mean you are happy I did not let him slaughter me…
JULIANA: No.
They keep silent for a few minutes, Juliana still sobbing, Roxanne lost in her contemplation of the street through the window. Suddenly Roxanne turns her attention back to her sister and smiles reassuringly.
ROXANNE: By the way, I did not love him, so you should not concern yourself with what happened or what unkind feelings you may have about him. When he turned violent, I simply valued my life more than his…
Juliana stops sobbing at these words.
JULIANA: You did not love him? Do you mean it?
ROXANNE: I do. Never loved him.
JULIANA (cold and troubled): Then why did you go out with him for so long? (She jumps to her feet) I.. I asked you to stop seeing him from the beginning ! I.. knew he was dangerous ! I…
She starts crying again. Roxanne stands to cradle her.
ROXANNE: Hush Ju, just forget about him, about the whole… You could have known nothing… Hush.
JULIANA (now on the verge of hysterics, Juliana disengages herself from Roxanne’s embrace): But, yes! I knew, Roxanne, I knew him well enough to wish him dead every day of my damned life, ever since…! (Roxanne stays silent, her gaze fixed upon her sister’s face.) He raped me, Roxanne! I could not tell you… I could not tell anyone... (she breathes heavily.) But I am glad you killed him, I wish I could have seen his face when he… (she starts crying again.)
ROXANNE (whispers through clenched teeth, strangely calm): Yes, I enjoyed it. He only got what he deserved, the bastard… Our only consolation is that he died in pain…(to her sister:)Now come, Juliana, he won’t hurt you anymore! I saw to that…
JULIANA (stares up): You saw to that? Rox! What can you mean by that? What the… You knew? All along !? Oh my…
She stumbles and falls on the couch, her hands fly to her face in stricken horror.
ROXANNE: Hush, Ju, don’t think about it…
JULIANA: But how…
ROXANNE: I saw him leave our house that day, and heard you crying later that night. In your dreams you even spoke about it once or twice. Happily, our parents sleep at the other end of the house. Now…
JULIANA: But if you knew… Oh my…Don’t tell me you did it on purpose! How could you go out with him when…
ROXANNE (a smile flutters for a few seconds on her face): Ju, I won’t tell you anything you don’t wish to hear. And honestly there is nothing to tell. Just what I told the police, he tried to kill me, stabbed me once but then I reached for a knife and struck first… He would have killed me otherwise.
JULIANA (fascinated): Did he beg for mercy?
ROXANNE: There was no time for that. Only one strike, but that was enough to put him down.
JULIANA: Didn’t he say anything before he died?
ROXANNE: Oh, he felt quite betrayed, I suppose. He tried to mumble something… I can’t remember. But at the end, his look was so distressed that I almost took pity on him. Not that it would have changed anything, though…
JULIANA: Did he bleed hard?
ROXANNE (with a weird smile): Yeah, lovely red on the white carpet, but the smell was quite nauseating.
JULIANA: Rox, you’re frightening.
ROXANNE: Just kidding. You’re the one asking sordid questions… (Then after a few moments’ reflection she goes on:) I only had a short while to see the light fade in his eyes, and then I collapsed. I had lost a lot of blood, too. But yeah, I saw it. The fear in his eyes…
JULIANA: I wish you’d strangled him.
ROXANNE (laughs): It would have been quite difficult to choke him to death and plead self-defence.
JULIANA: But how did you…
ROXANNE: I told him I knew about what he had done to you, and that I would tell the police. It was quite easy to pick a fight with him, to provoke him. Then I grabbed one of the knives and told him not to come near me. That was enough to put the seed in his mind, so he took the other knife, and I let him stab me. But then I got to his throat. He was a bit drunk. I’d waited for the right moment, you see. And I’ve always been strong. He never thought I would struggle.
JULIANA: Rox, you should never have…
ROXANNE (suddenly wrathful): Shouldn’t have? After what he’d done to you! How can you be so unfeeling as to tell me something like that? Ju, what would you have me do? (Tears run down her cheeks. Juliana cradles her gently). This was the only way… The only way to relieve you… I didn’t want to keep looking into your hollow eyes. I wanted you back, feeling better, feeling something at least! I knew that this could make you feel something, if nothing else could.
JULIANA: No, I’m sorry, Roxanne. I meant, it was not worth taking so many risks! You could have died, you could have gone to jail for the rest of your life… I didn’t want to hurt you Roxanne… You’re my little sister. I should take better care of you…
ROXANNE (stops crying): Then you are not angry with me? I did what I could to make things better. And I did it well: nobody will ever suspect anything now, because I’m the only one who knows what happened… We are both freed from all this. Nobody will ever know the truth.
JULIANA (smiles): No, they won’t, for I shall never breathe a word of this to anyone. Never…
The sisters fall into each others arms, Juliana with a sigh of relief, Roxanne with a giggle recalling that of a small child.
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